I met Robert while going to college part time in 1992, and being a romantic I thought he was my handsome knight in shining armor. We married in 1993.
I thought I knew Robert well, but came to find out I didn't. He was having financial problems, not paying the bills and not holding down a job any length of time. I had to quit college and go to work, all the while he was cheating on me. Robert begged for forgiveness, and loving him I said ok, and a week or so later I found a better job at a large department store in the local mall.
In December 1993 I found I was pregnant. I was happy and I thought Robert would be also, but I was wrong. He told me that we couldn't afford any baby right now, and in truth we couldn't. We could hardly feed ourselves, let alone a baby. We talked about abortion. Robert said it was nothing but a clump of cells, and I wanted to believe this. After all it really wasn't a baby - so he said.
At work I passed out, so I knew then that I was pregnant for sure. Two other ladies that worked there helped me, and asked me what was wrong. I told them, "I think I'm pregnant," and they started telling me what a wonderful miracle having a baby is. I started crying, and told them everything, "I really wanted to have my baby, but my hubby and I have talked it over and it would be better to have an abortion."
I will never forget the look on those ladies' faces. Although I thought I was a Christian, I hadn't been to church in years. One of these ladies was a Catholic and the other belonged to an Assembly of God Church. Both said they would bring some literature for me to read, and I said okay. That night I told Robert, "I think I want to keep our baby."
"What????" he was screaming at the top of his lungs. I backed down. I made an appointment a few days later at the local abortion clinic. They wanted to talk to me first, I said okay. Robert was happy, I wasn't. But I'm getting ahead of myself.
The two Christian ladies did bring some pro-life literature for me, and hopefully Robert, to read. I took it home, but Robert tore it all up, and said no, it's only a clump of cells, and for the first time I challenged him.
I told him "I AM HAVING OUR BABY, no one can stop me!" and that's when the physical abuse started. My appointment with the abortion clinic was in two days. I called the clinic the next day and told them I was not interested in their services. I talked to the two Christian ladies, and told them about the abuse. They told me I would be welcome if things got worse to come to their homes. Things went from bad to worse, but I didn't go to either one of their homes. I did visit their churches with them. My dad died in 1993, but I still had my mother and sisters and brothers.
To make a long story short I left Robert, got help and joined a church. I had my beautiful daughter Brenda, who turned 5 last month. I'm going back to college and still working for the same department store, although in another city, and I will always Praise God.
I look at Brenda with awe. I cry at the thought of almost aborting her. I know if I had and truly repented, God would still forgive me. I have a classmate who did abort before I knew her, and I know God has forgiven her, but she said it's so hard to forgive herself. Love and compassion are the key words.